The Other Side
by Linea
Summary: After dying, Zabuza reflects on his life and relationship with Haku. ZabuHaku. Lots of Angst and fluff, too.
1. Default Chapter

The Other Side  
  
By: Linea  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, it would be chaos!  
  
//...//= thoughts  
  
Part 1 (Kiki, please don't kill me for this)  
  
The sun rose over the gentle hil, hitting the man lying on the bottom slope of the hill. His eyes flickered open and he sat up, rubbing his head. His hand touched a headband, that had a metal plate attached to it, on which four small squiggles were imprinted.   
  
"Zabuza," He murmured, "I remember that word." He loked around him, then stood.  
  
"Yes," He smiled slightly, "I am starting to remember. I am Zabuza, the Demon. I fought Kakashi and then... then..." The smile faded "He killed Haku! Haku! Where is he?" Zabuza looked around frantically, but all he could see was green grass and blue sky. He slumped to the ground and sunk his head into his hands.  
  
//I knew it! I knew I wouldn't end up with Haku, on the other side. I can never go to that place. He can.// Zabuza pulled his headband off and looked at it thoughtfully. The metal plate caught the light and flashed bright. Zabuza turned it back and forth, watching the flashes, until suddenly, it mirrored his face. Her looked at his reflection, staring into the eyes he saw there. They stared back, dark and hopeless, the eyes of a man who has seen too much and kept too little. As he studied his face, a great wave of melancholy washed over him, leaving tears pricking in his eyes.   
  
*Flashback*  
  
Everything was slowing down. He watched Kakashi's arm come towards him. He knew he was dead. He couldn't fight anymore, he didn't want to fight anymore.   
  
But then....  
  
Haku sped over, blocking Kakashi's blow. Then Kakashi's hand went right through his middle. Haku fell, crumpling in on himself.   
  
"Zabuza-san," He whispered, then went still, dead. Zabuza was frozen. hecouldn't move at all, not even to blink.   
  
*End flashback*  
  
That was one of the worst moments in his life. Only his absolute self control prevented him from breaking down and sobbing. Even now, the memory required him to blink away some tears.   
  
Haku... From the very first time Zabuza had seen the boy, he had been captivated. He may have been an outcast, but Haku was always so pure. Zabuza used him, like a tool, yet he wanted that! Haku's dream, his ambition was to help Zabuza acheive his dream! Haku had such complete faith, such complete trust in him, that he had to succeed. He knew that if he failed, he would rather kil himself than see the look on Haku's face.   
  
Haku was every thing to him, everything. Without Haku, he would probably be dead by now, lying in a ditch in some strange town. Haku gave him a reason to live, to survive in the world that had cast him out. All it toook was one smile, one look and Zabuza could feel his spirits lift.   
  
But... Now... He would never see that face, that smile, again. He would never feel that special warm feeling that he got when he was near Haku, never again.   
  
"If I have to spend eternity without Haku, maybe this is Hell, even though it doesn't look like it," He muttered. He bit his lip so hard he tasted blood, but it couldn't stop the memories.   
  
The first time he saw Haku. When he woke from the trance, with Haku sitting above him. Haku fighting Sasuke, throwing his needles with accuracy, sparing the boy on purpose. Zabuza had realized that Haku saw something in the other boy, something that marked them as similarly cursed outcasts.   
  
Then, that other one. What was his name? Naruto? Yes! That's it! That kid, he jus wouldn't let up! He pried into Zabuza's min, asking him questions. Didn't he care? Didn't he worry about Haku? Didn't he feel anything? That kid kept asking and yelling at him until he just couldn't help it. He just started to cry. It was hard enough to keep from shouting, "Yes! Of course I care! Haku means everything to me!"   
  
Why though? Why, though? Why did Naruto open all those wounds? It made him feel helpless, defenseless, weak. But it also made him feel good, knowing that maybe, just maybe, someone actually cared. That someone felt worried enough, angry enough to to yell at him, repremand him. Yes, it may seem strange, but after all, all he had recieved for years were impersonal orders. Until Naruto, no one other than Haku had seen him as a human. It had been so long, in fact, that if anyone other than Haku had cared for him, in his entire life, he had forgotton them.   
  
Kakashi, a fellow ninja, of the same class as him. It had been a good fight, neither one really gaining the upper hand until Kakashi had used his dog attack. The man understood what it was like to be a ninja, a Shinobi. You were a tool in the hands of your village or your employer. If you got good enough, you became a user of the tools. However, you were never a human, with emptions, but a cold, impersonal machine.  
  
That was all he was, until, one day, something had changed. One day he had woken up and glanced over at Haku, like usual. But.... What he had seen had taken his breath away and had stolen his heart in the same act. Haku, sleeping, looking so peaceful, almost like an angel. The blood on his shirt had spoiled the effect, but his face... So sad, but beautiful because of that sadness. If Zabuza had still had his heart, it would have been broken by the vision he beheld.   
  
When Haku had died, Zabuza's heart had been broken all over again. His soul had shattered into a million peices, taking his world with it. He realized that, without Haku, he had nothing, no reason to live. So he killed Gato, as punishment for betraying him, and then he died. It was snowing, when he died, in the middle of summer. It was like nature was mourning for Haku, or remembering him. He had been born in a village where it snowed most of the year, where the pure whiteness had made everything look beautiful. Maybe the snow had covered their bodies, smoothed out the lines, made them look beautiful, lying there on the bridge.   
  
Even now, when he was dead, Zabuza felt that pain, the pain of loss. The pain of having on you care about taken away. All he could do was sit and cry and ache. Haku was gone and he was unable to do anything about it. He gave in to his tears and let them roll down his cheeks as his sholders shook with sobs.   
  
"Zabuza-san, why are you crying?"  
  
TBC  
  
Oooo! Evil cliffie. Don't worry, I'll update soon. 


	2. Chapter 2

The Other Side  
  
By Linea  
  
Disclaimer: I not own Naruto. You not sue! I am writing this soley for my own enjoyment. Sob... Zbuza-san, Haku.... why did you have to die? sobs and runs around the room   
  
'....' means thoughts.  
  
Part 2  
  
"Zabuza-san, why are you crying?" Zabuza turned, to see Haku staring at him concernedly. He could barely beleive his eyes. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, but the boy was still there.   
  
"Haku?" He whispered, "Haku is it really you?"  
  
"Yes!" The boy said, "It is me! I am here, really!"  
  
"I thought I had lost you." Zabuza reached out tentatively and touched Haku's arm. It was solid, and warm, proving that Haku really was there. The boy moved closer and Zabuza cupped his chin in his hand, smiling genuinely, something he had not done in a very long time, if ever. Haku smiled back, happy because Zabuza was happy. Both sat like that for a while, just happy to be with each other.   
  
Then Zabuza frowned, "Where were you before, when I woke up? I thought you would be with me. You could just be a cruel illusion or a dream."   
  
"I'm not. I'm me. Why can't you trust me?" Haku bit his lip, "I thought you trusted me! I... I thought...." He trailed off helplessly, shaking his head.   
  
"Look, Haku," Zabuza sighed, "You're too pure to be sent to where I should be. You belong in heaven, not hell. I belong in hell. Therefore, you can't possibly be where I am. This is probably some new form of torture."   
  
"Zabuza-san! Stop! Stop doing this!" Haku started to cry, "You're hurting me!" He wrenched away from Zabuza and continued to sob. Zabuza sat silently, staring into nothing. He just could not accept the fact that Haku was really there. He had been hurt and deceived so many times, even in death, he was incapable of trust. Even if it was the one person who looked up to him, respected him, he could not do it. He was hurting Haku and himself, denying himself the only chance he had for happiness.   
  
"I'm getting out of here." Zabuza stood abruptly and started down the hill. Haku ran to catch up.   
  
"Zabuza-san, wait! Wait for me!" Haku ran after him, his arms reaching out to Zabuza. Zabuza ignored him. Haku tripped over a rock and fell facedown in the grass. Still Zabuza did not turn around. Haku scrambled to his feet, ran to Zabuza and grabbed him around the wrist. Zabuza halted and glanced down at him.   
  
"What do you want?" He snapped, "I know you aren't Haku, so let go!"   
  
"Zabuza-san! I am Haku! Believe me, please!" Haku pleaded. Zabuza was tearing him apart. All Haku wanted was to be with him and he was denying he even existed. It was too much. He slumped to the ground, suddenly weaker than he had ever been in his entire life.   
  
Zabuza's POV  
  
This... This thing.... What is it doing here. It can't be Haku, I know that! But, then, why does something feel, well, right about him. Is he? Could he be? Is it really Haku? I don't know. My whole world has been turned upside down. I don't know, I don't understand anything anymore. Maybe I should just follow my instincts.   
  
Normal POV  
  
Zabuza knelt down so he could look Haku in the eyes. Haku stared back at him, his eyes still swimming with tears.   
  
"Haku, it is you, isn't it?" Zabuza touched Haku's cheek, very lightly. Then he leaned over and pressed his lips to the boy's. Haku moaned a little and parted his lips. Zabuza slid his tounge into Haku's mouth, tasting him. He tasted like snow and blood and something else he just couldn't identify.   
  
After a while, the need for air made them separate, panting slightly. They both smiled again, the kind of warm, private smile you only share with someone you love. Haku hugged Zabuza and snuggled him (A/N: you know what I mean!). Zabuza wrapped his arms around Haku and rested his head on his hair.   
  
"Zabuza-san, if you do that again!" Haku murmured.  
  
"If I do that again what?" Zabuza asked.  
  
"Hmmm, well, I'll just say that it would make sure you never cheat on me!" Haku smiled impishly.   
  
"Owwww! Ok, I promise." Zabuza backed away a little, so he could see Haku's face, "Should we seal that with a kiss?" Before he had gotten all of the words out, Haku tackled him. They ended up with Zabuza lying on his back with Haku on top of him, arms wrapped around his neck.   
  
"Of course!" Haku leaned down and lightly touched his lips to Zabuza's. Zabuza immediatly rolled over on top of him.   
  
"I should be on top, baka," He whispered. He pushed his hand under Haku's shirt and stroked his tender flesh. Haku moaned with pleasure. Then he kissed Zabuza. And something, in both of them, broke free. They both felt it, an all incompassing passion. They were so close it seemed like they couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.  
  
'I've never felt quite like this before,' Was Zabuza's last coherent thought for a long time.   
  
"That was... nice," Haku smiled and sat up. He was covered in sweat, but he practacally exuded happiness.   
  
"Mmmmm, I agree," Zabuza smiled sleepily, "We should do that more." He rolled over, watching Haku posesively.   
  
Just a piece of advice," Haku said, "Don't try to walk away from me again, or I'll do something very painful."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Very vital parts of your anatomy would be hacked off, or you would die the most slow, painful death that I know of." Haku grinned evily.  
  
Zabuza winced, "I thought you were an innocent, pure little boy. Now I'm starting to doubt that."  
  
"Oh, I only just developed this personality," Haku leaned over him, "And it's partially your fault, too."   
  
He poked Zabuza. Zabuza blinked. He poked Zabuza, again. Zabuza blinked, again. He moved to poke Zabuza again, but Zabuza grabbed his arm.  
  
"Why are you poking me?" He growled. He frowned threateningly, for about three seconds, then gave up and grinned.   
  
"I was seeing how you would react, Zasbuza-san," Haku bounced slightly, "I was trying to see if you had changed, too. You have! You're not so mean!" At the last words, Zabuza couldn't resist any more. He reached up and wrapped his arms around Haku.  
  
"Who's fault is that, you think?" He asked, his voice husky.  
  
"Mine!" Haku gleefully squealed. He clung to Zabuza with all his might. 'I'm so happy! I'm finally withZabuza-san again! YAY!'   
  
They sat like that for a while, then Zabuza tugged at Haku's hands. "Haku? This is very nice, but I need to breathe." Haku loosened his grip and looked up at him.   
  
"I don't like that look," Zabuza said.  
  
"You should," Haku breathed, "It means a very good thing!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I love you, ashke" Haku pushed Zabuza onto his back, "And I'm gonna show you just how much."  
  
"I love you too," Zabuza managed to say, then let the passion carry him away.  
  
OWARI  
  
ashke means beloved, in the Hawkbrother language (in the books by Mercedes Lackey). I really like this word. 


End file.
